Amy's Semi-exciting Life

I love you...four!

2010-11-07T22:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to the big boy that will always be my baby! The boy who still kisses me goodnight and proclaims without prompting, " I love you Mommy." Tonight I countered, "I love you too (interpreted as two)!", and he replied, "I love you, seventy-five!"

Kaden's France Journal

2010-10-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

My oldest baby boy turned 7 on September 21st. He really was overwhelmed this year with attention and gifts from our family and friends. His birthday wishes of Star Wars Legos and super hero paraphernalia were fulfilled several times over. Kaden received a special gift from Matt and I this year-the opportunity to spend a week in the south of France. This was made possible by our dear friends, the Pierce family (friends is almost an understatement, Kaden is convinced we are related and calls their kids our cousins). Kaden diligently documented the trip in a journal given to him in anticipation of this adventure (thank-you Cahoons). Read on if you are interested in what excites a 7-year-old when visiting another continent.

10/2/10

2010-10-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day in France. We went to Marineland all day. At Marine land there are different shows. The kind of sea animal shows are sea lions, dolphins and killer whales and we got to see all of them. You can also see sharks, rays and fish at Marineland.

10/1/10

2010-10-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today was the 5th day in France. We went to a place called Grasse. Grasse is famous because it makes the most perfume in the world. Mom got perfume and I got cologne. I got to test different smells and then I picked my favorite for my first bottle of cologne! Today we also went to some bakeries (in french boulangerie) and tried some french treats. One bakery had very good bread and another had very good cookies. I spent the rest of my day playing with my cousins.

9/31/10

2010-10-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the 4th day in France. The first thing that we did today was go to the beach and it was very, very, fun. There was a castle at this beach and the castle was real. Mom and I took some pictures. When I got to Jenny and Joci's house I missed my family but Jackson the most.

9/30/10

2010-10-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my 3rd day in France. Some of the things that I have noticed about French prople:
1. A lot of people smoke
2. There are a lot of dogs
3. They drive small cars

My favorite thing that we did toady wasgo to a park that had bubbles, ziplines and intertube slides. There were also giant tree houses with slides coming out of them.

9/29/10

2010-10-08T14:56:00.001-07:00

Today was our 2nd day in France and I was so tired. Last night I slept 12 hours! We went on an adventure today Italy. The city was San Remo and it was by the beach. We went to an outside market and it was very hot. My favorite part was eating pizza!

9/28/10

2010-10-08T14:52:00.001-07:00

When I woke up I was in France. Some of the things I did were:

1. go to the grocery store

2. got to see my cousins' house

3. went to Cannes and rided some rides and ate some Italian ice cream and it was good

9/27/10

2010-10-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up in New York City. The first thing that we did was take a subway (not the sandwich) from the airport to Times Square. My favorite part was the 3 story toy store. It had a ferris wheel inside and a ginormous dino (but not real).

Next we went to the Empire State Building. It took 80 floors on an elevator and then we went up 138 stairs. There are a lot of buildings in New York City. I saw the Statue of Liberty, a lake leading to the ocean and cool buildings with gold on top. The last thing we sis was ride my first taxi cab. New York City was fun today.

9/26/10

2010-10-08T14:29:00.000-07:00

I got this from the airport (TSA security guard sticker). Here is a picture of mom, me and the security guards (roughly sketched picture). I got some wings that help the airline people fly airplanes (official jet blue junior crew wings).

The dreaded school year

2010-08-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

(Kaden and Sterling's first day of Kindergarten and Second grade)

After my 3rd son in three years was born, and I was cognizant enough to figure out the difference in their "school age", I waited in fear for the 2010-2011 school year. Sure, I had apprehension about my darling little Sterling starting all day kindergarten. Of course, there was natural trepidation when my sweet Kaden wanted to go to class without my assistance. And we all laughed when Jackson had to carry an empty lunchbox to fit in with his older brothers. (Jackson also didn't understand why there wasn't a "Jackson K." name tag in Sterling's Kindergarten class!) But the source of my deepest dread comes from a much more selfish place. This is the first year that I have 3 children on 3 completely different school schedules-ugh!!! I have a preschooler, a kindergartner and a second grader. Although I managed to get them close to the same campus, it was impossible to get pickup and drop off times that coincide. The upside? I have one whole hour on Mondays and Wednesdays where I am in possession of no kids of all. (Of which I blew today-blogging) The downside? Everyday is divided into useless increments of time: too short to go home and accomplish anything and too long to just hangout in the car. If I can just survive this year, I shouldn't find myself in this predicament again until Kaden starts high school-YIKES. But in the meantime, if you are tyring to get a hold of me, best to try my cell!

(Jackson, our little attention stealer, had to say "cheese")

Do you speak Star Wars?

2010-08-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

While visiting my brother in Visalia, California, we thought it would be fun to take the boys to the Sequoia National Park conveniently located just an hour away. We pulled them {kicking and screaming} away from 5 acres, quad rides, swimming and their cousins to go on this quick adventure. The only time their attention was taken away from their desire to return to my brother's property, was to debate whether we had landed on the Endor Moon. (That is where the Ewoks live-Matt had to interpret for me)

And whether or not this was Boba Fett's ship! (interpretation: no one in my immediate family is ever going to shoe shop with me!)

This famous tree, General Sherman, is 275 feet tall and 103 feet around and don't my boys look thrilled about it? Well, Matt and I thought it was very cool!

You will find us by the pool!

2010-08-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago, Sterling, commented to my mom that I must love my Young Women (the church youth program that I help facilitate) a lot because I am always at church. At first I was concerned that my five-year-old felt like he had to compete for my attention. After weeks of contemplation I realized that I would be honored if my children retain memories of their mother fulfilling her callings and serving in the Lord's church. That being said, I was released from my position as Young Women's President after two and a half years of service in early July. And as with anything that you put your heart into, saying goodbye was bittersweet for me. Without being presumptuous, it was as if some of these girls had evolved into spiritual daughters of my own-filling a hole in my heart left with the birth of three sons. My love for them will not end with this change!

The most relatable feeling that has come with this release, is that of returning home from my mission. There is a degree of sadness for what is left behind, mixed with a natural excitement of coming home and progressing. I am conscious of the debt that I must repay my family and household. Kaden is six and a half. He is so bright-and loves to read and build. He just got his passport and is looking forward to a special trip that we are taking in September for his seventh birthday. Sterling is five. He is so excited to be in Kindergarten this year and is the star of his soccer team. He is so loving and very protective of both his older and younger brothers. Jackson is three and a half. We have officially mastered the potty with no time to spare before he starts preschool tomorrow. He is contagiously happy and loves the alphabet and Nemo. And then there is Matt-loving, unwavering and supportive. With a sudden influx of extra time, I have vowed to be conscious of what to fill it back up with. I hope that my own children also realize that I must love them very much too. If they equate that love with time spent, as Sterling did with my Young Women, then time is what I am going to give them. So chances are if you are looking for the Kartchner clan this summer...you will find us by the pool!

Ridiculous Parenting Products

2010-07-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

Do you think these "pee and poo" plushies could have helped me in my desperate search for potty training techniques? Pretty hilarious. Check out the "placenta teddy bear" among other ridiculous parenting products at: http://www.parenting.com/gallery/Mom/Ridiculous-Parenting-Products/1/

(I may have to stoop to purchasing the "Swarovski Rainbow Sparkle Silicone Pacifier" if I ever bring home a pink bundle)

FINALLY!

2010-07-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

I almost have to hand it to a kid who refuses to potty train until he is old enough to negotiate the reward! We have mastered "pee pee" and yesterday he rose the ante for "poo poos" to 4 powdered donuts! Jackson has yet to collect on that bet...

Humpty Dumpty

2010-07-07T08:14:00.001-07:00

Most of you know that my Dad was in a major car accident a couple of months ago. Yesterday "all the kings horses and all the kings men, tried to put Humpty together again"! Last night, his surgeon visited just to tell us that his surgery went even better than anticipated! Among other procedures, they only had to fuse 2 vertebrae instead of expected 3 because there was bone sufficient enough to do so. Whether or not he has a second surgery will be dependant on his pain and symptoms.

This post is meant to update all of you that have been so supportive to my family during this precarious time. We are so aware of your love, concern and especially prayers. It is also intended to show you that regardless of the severe pain my dad is in (yesterday it reached 11 on a scale of 1 to 10), he is in great optimistic spirits. The doctors are encouraging him to do as much for himself as he can-now if he can just rollover! (he's highly incentivized by chocolate and peanut butter!)

Go Cheetos!!

2010-06-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

Sterling is playing his third year of summer soccer. Last week, while Sterling was suiting up for his game, littlest brother Jackson rounded up a retired soccer jersey and declared, "Get dressed, play soccer"! So we let him wear the old jersey and told him to go get his sandals when he then insisted, "No, socks and cleats!" I spent last week's game cheering on my little superstar Sterling (no really, he's pretty good this year!), and consoling my wannabe star Jackson on the sideline. Silent alligator tears ran down my three-year-old's face as I tried to explain to him that he couldn't play soccer today.

Coach K (daddy), made a quick call to the athletic director and guess who's the newest player/mascot addition to the Cheetos (can you see the color of their jerseys)? JACKSON!! Problem solved: Daddy coached, Sterling scored plus Jackson ran around in the backfield- equals two happy little boys. YAY!!

Happy Birthday Sterling!

2010-06-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

Scene: I am combing Sterling's hair for church on the morning of his actual birthday.

Sterling (disappointed): Mom, my voice sounds the same.
Me: Did you think it was going to change on your birthday?
Sterling: Yeah.
Me: Oh, I am sorry honey. That doesn't happen until you turn like fourteen.
Sterling: Is that when it happened to you?
Me: Ummm, it's a little different for girls. . .

Man, I love this kid of mine. Happy Birthday Monkey :)

Anniversary

2010-06-03T22:18:00.000-07:00

May 20th marked a decade of marital bliss for Matt and I. We commemorated this milestone with a weekend in San Francisco sans children, and not because Alcatraz is symbolic or related in anyway to this occasion!
Two graduations, three babies, seven moves, a few pounds and countless grey hairs later...I love you more than ever. Happy Anniversary!

Laurel Retreat...Finally!

2010-06-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

My Laurels (16-18 year old girls in my youth group), have been begging me to do a "retreat". Not being sure what a "retreat" actually consists of, it took me too long to finally pull one off. And by me, I actually mean myself and two of my favorite people, Alisa Pierce and Marili Potts.

The overnighter started with dinner at El Novillero,a must-if you claim to be from Sacramento. After we headed to LeRivage (thank you Uncle John), where we had two beautiful adjoining rooms. The girls enjoyed the balcony overlooking the Sacramento River, soaking in the hot tub (above) and lounging by the fire pits until the evening. Then we gathered around and shared with each other our "favorite things"- each girl brought 13 of any single item that she wished to share with everyone else.

The finale of the night was made possible by my amazing adviser, Alisa. She had reinvented the old idea of the "temple time capsule". We spent hours with the girls helping them do everything from picking their wedding colors to writing letters to their future spouses. We reminded them of the amazing men they are worthy of, and renewed their commitment to remain virtuous. The capsules were brimming with both fun and meaningful memorabilia by the night's end. Now they are literally canned shut-not to be revisited until the year of each girl's engagement!

We laughed, we cried and it is my sincere hope that we created a lasting memory.

A Sea of Cards

2010-03-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

Most of you know that I am a scrapbook consultant for a Utah based company called CLOSE to my HEART. My intentions of partnering with this company were never to make a living out of it, but simply to have access to a product line that I personally use. In fact, I am guilty of sharing my discount and perks in some way with practically everyone that ever ordered from me. I love paper crafting, and the notion of preserving my children's memories and keepsakes in a tangible form. That is why it breaks my heart to admit that soon after receiving my 5 year anniversary pendant from CTMH, my status dropped to Jr. consultant status because of a lack of sales. Initially, it seemed that this would be inevitable due to our precarious economy-and perhaps that had a small influence on my overall ordering volume. But I correlate my lack of sales to a lack of scrapbooking! My life is overcome with a variety of responsibilities that have unfortunately trumped the time necessary to keep up with my much loved hobby. When I am not scrapping among community and friends-I am not ordering for myself or community and friends!

That is why when my darling friend, Stefani, invited me to paper craft with her I eagerly blocked out my calendar! She was in need of thank-you cards in bulk. Stef is the master of card making and presented a darling template that could be easily recreated with a variety of paper combinations and embellishments. We set up an assembly line and before we knew it, had produced a couple dozen super cute and easy thank you cards. But more importantly, we took the time to feed that little creative monster that lives in most of us. And now that I have re-ignited that creative outlet-I can't wait to do it again. Thanks Stef!

My ties with CLOSE to my HEART are still intact. So if any of you are interested on getting back on that paper-crafting horse, please don't hesitate to let me help!!

Hansel and Gretel Eat Right

2010-03-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

Dismiss whatever version of Hansel and Gretel you have stored in the archives of your mind because the first grade play of the tale, is far less scary then the one that I remember!

Enter stage left: The cutest, most well-dressed narrator you've ever seen-okay, it just says "Kaden"

Kaden proudly recites his first of four memorized lines complete with facial expression that draws a laugh from the audience, "Hansel and Gretel live in the woods with their mother and father. . ."

The well-rehearsed chorus sings.

Kaden: "Hansel and Gretel decide to run away from home so that they can only eat junk food. They soon run into some rabbits."

Hansel and Gretel begin their journey in search for junk food when they are approached by some health conscious rabbits outfitted with ears and Addidas head and wristbands. . .

Kaden: "Hansel and Gretel go in to search for the witches but some birds landed right in front of them."

. . .singing feather masked children and an array of other impressively costumed forest creatures also attempt to persuade the Hansel and Gretel's eating choices. . .

Kaden: "Hansel and Gretel are very hungry now. They see some smoke in the distance. Could that be the withes house? They soon ran into some raccoons."

. . . but eventually they stumble upon the most darling, I mean scary, witches and turn down the enticing offer of a lifetime of Cheetos, candy bars and soda and return home to live with their well-intentioned parents! THE END

P.S. Of course my talented and willing husband was enlisted to build the witches' house and forest trees-both of which far surpassed the teachers' expectations :)

St. Patty's Day

2010-03-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am totally on board with a holiday that only takes a little food coloring (and colored hair gel this year)to celebrate!

Was Einstein Potty-trained?

2010-03-15T08:06:00.001-07:00

My baby. He is 3 years and 4 months old and LOVES the alphabet. In fact, love may be an understatement. He loves the alphabet so much that I have to limit his time with his favorite toy-the alphabet puzzle-or he will prefer nothing else. He learned the alphabet and their corresponding sounds by the time he was three, and shortly after started recognizing common letter combinations ( ie. C-A-T). Now, I have lost track of the vocabulary that he is able to spell. Literally, he figures out new words everyday. Yesterday, it was S-H-E-E-P and D-U-C-K. In this picture he proudly spelled R-O-C-K-E-T and then said "cheeeeeese", indicating that he wanted his picture taken! The interesting part is that this is not done phonetically, but rather by memory. He has recently begun to discover the phonetic connection behind some words, and my guess is that he will be reading in the next 6 months. Now if I could just get my little genius potty-trained . . .

I'm 29...again!

2010-03-08T14:52:00.000-08:00

(The boys sweet birthday gift- a jar full of handwritten slips of reasons why they love their crazy mother)

Did you ever use the measuring cup system to report your age? (You must be eight. Actually, I am eight and three quarters!) You must remember counting down the weeks and then days until just minutes existed until your next birthday? Some families maintain their sanity by choosing to celebrate birthdays by a sophisticated system of even or odd years, or milestone birthdays only. I, however, did not grow up in a traditionally sane family, and one of the benefits of that was "Martie's Parties"! When you are fortunate to live with the person who is the life of every party, every single birthday-no matter how big or small, even or odd, life changing or not-was celebrated like it was the most important day of the year.

Despite the fact my memory is horrible, (my husband blames it on high school-don't ask), I have wonderful, vivid memories of my special day-even as early as the day I turned 5. (Who could forget a real flower arrangement from my dad, a "color me five" crayon-shaped birthday cake, accompanied by a three story handcrafted Barbie house!) The proceeding years traditionally yielded my room being covered in streamers and balloons,the most coveted slumber parties in school and my favorite breakfast being served on the very special red birthday plate.

Fast forward. I have been 28 and three quarters for a very long time now and am counting down the days until I get to turn 29...again! I am trying to be depressed. Depressed about turning another year older. Depressed that this year I have to work on my special day. But I can't manage to stifle the childlike excitement that still exists for me as February 25th approaches. Epiphany. At face value this must appear to be so self indulgent. It is not. It is simply the result of a little girl that was allowed to feel special and loved, needed and recognized, year after year, by parents who hardly had the means or maturity to even realize the importance of what they were accomplishing.

Ding-dong. This year the doorbell rang at 6:00 a.m. on February 25th. My sleepy husband rolled over and groaned. I stirred quickly because I knew the only person that would be bold enough to ring my doorbell this early on my birthday would be my mother. My mother in her pajamas, holding a bowl full of a labor intensive batter because apple pancakes are still my favorite. They are quickly cooked and served on a very special red birthday plate!

I am so thankful for parents that instilled in me and then continue to celebrate my self worth. I am also thankful for a husband and children that indulge me by carrying on the tradition. My kid brother turned doctor, drove up with his family to spend the weekend. My sweet sister-in-law emailed me the customized header and background that now compose my blog. There were countless cards and messages of well wishing, of which all I am sincerely thankful. I hope everyone has the opportunity to feel loved, appreciated and celebrated the way I do thanks to the best of family and friends :)

When I grow up I want to be like Daddy!

2010-03-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Sterling: When I grow up I want to be a robber.

Me: A robber?

Sterling: And a policeman and a dolphin.

Me: You can't be a good guy and a bad guy, silly, and a dolphin is an animal.

Sterling: And a worker.

Me: A worker? What does a worker do?

Sterling: You know like Daddy. I want to be a worker so I can build stuff like Daddy. At his job he just builds things like houses. He can build anything! His work is so cool.

Me: Is Mommy's work cool too?

Sterling: No, because at your job all you do is just sit there!

First grade poetry

2010-02-28T11:01:00.000-08:00

Kaden

Lover of God, soccer and painting

Who feels warm, funny and happy

Who needs air, friends and family

Who gives joy, love and advice

Who fears bears, ghosts and boogiemonsters

Who wishes for ice cream

Kartchner

Become the girl of your dreams. . .

2010-02-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

I have the opportunity to work with the youth group in my church congregation. I work with a board of seven extremely talented women, and at any given time we have approximately 35 amazing girls between the ages of 12 and 18. We coordinate the Sunday instruction supplemented by a mid-week activity.

This week's activity was an annual program called New Beginnings where we celebrate all that is wonderful about being a Young Women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! The theme was "Become the girl of your dreams", and a program was featured that encouraged the girls to really think about the person they would like to become and what goals they need to set in order to do so. We wore PJ's and ate popcorn and the featured speaker (my mom, of course!) told a "bedtime story".

It is such a privilege to be a part of these girls lives. The truth is they have truly blessed my life far more than I have influenced any of them-and for that I am grateful!

New Year and New Towels

2010-01-31T19:08:00.000-08:00

Ross: All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Joey: Everyday use.
Chandler: Fancy.
Joey: Guest.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Two seconds...
Joey: Uh, eleven!
Ross: 11. Unbelievable. 11 is correct.

Reducing the count of towel categories in the Kartchner household, is one of my many 2010 resolutions. You see, since the day we were married, at least one towel bar in every bathroom has been reserved for the "fancy" category of towels. This year marks our 10th wedding anniversary, and we have been using the same towels we were gifted on that joyous occasion ever since. Meanwhile, the "guest", "fancy guest" and "decorative" towels have remained untouched by anyone in the family, regardless of how thread barren, rough and sometimes smelly our own towels have become. We have added towel bars, towel racks and/or hooks to every bathroom, in every house we have ever lived in, to accommodate this ridiculous indulgence of mine-decorative towels with no particular function.

Matt and I chose not to give Christmas gifts to each other for the first time this year. Instead, we reserved our modest budget for the day after Christmas sales. We got a babysitter and braved the mall with one objective-new towels! Not just any towels-soft bath sheets with a high thread count. Mission accomplished! Our new plain and white, yet soft and comfortable towels, reside with the once "fancy" towels in our linen closet. Our old towels have respectfully been retired, and all towels are now candidates when any Kartchner body part needs to be dried! Our household now boasts only two categories of towels-clean and dirty! To many it may seem petty (as well as this post!), but for me it represents a larger aspiration of living a simpler life. I hope that this small change will be the catalyst behind many more important choices to live a leaner, yet more fulfilling life in 2010.

Christmas

2009-12-25T19:37:00.001-08:00

The whole family decorates cookies anticipating Santa's arrival. Of course, in our family it soon becaomes a competitive cookie decorating challenge!

Daddy plays the cello as part of our annual Christmas program (or as my brother Steve says, "Let's just call it what it really is-the Christmas talent show!")

It was a Star Wars Christmas for Kaden. . .

Batman for Sterling. . .

and Jackson couldn't have been any happier with a vintage Jack-in-the-box (no pun intended!)

Merry Christmas!

Disneyland in December

2009-12-25T19:14:00.000-08:00

This year our gift to our children was a family vacation to Disneyland. We allowed them to open one premeditated gift on Christmas Sunday after church (note the holiday sweaters). Each gift contained a pair of Disney Christmas pajamas and a note that read, "Put on your new pajamas and pack your suitcase because we are going to Disneyland!"

We are Magic Kingdom veterans at this point. I am embarrassed to say that I am not even sure how many times my children have visited the happiest place on earth. But no matter how many Lunchables, Uncrustables, and Capri-suns we pack in-$3.50 becomes a reasonable price to pay for a Churro the second we walk into the park. Name a ride and I can tell you which overpriced portion of the "Disney diet" we will be partaking of. Pirates-chocolate covered frozen banana. Small World-Mickey shaped salted pretzel. Jungle Cruise-pineapple whip. Bugs life-cotton candy. . .

My three little rascals waiting in line for the chance to spot Nemo and Dori froma submarine window.

What I hate about taking family pictures. . .

2009-12-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

1. The best picture of me is always the worst for everyone else (above). It's about time I got to use a rejected picture that I secretly like!

2. Convincing three boys to get ready- please brush your teeth before you put your sweater on, yes you have to wear a sweater, please wipe your nose but not on your shirt, you're thirsty? no red punch, you're hungry? no crumbs and no chocolate anything, now please just sit still until it's time to go. . .

3. Convincing three boys to simultaneuously behave: Jackson look over here, Kaden smile-not that big-keep your eyes open, Jackson, Jack-son over here, Sterling you too, Jaaaack-sonnnnn, Kaden Sterling you're not smiling anymore-you just have to KEEP SMILING, JACKSON DALE. . .

4. An extremely photogenic husband that looks great no matter if he is trying or frustrated or tired. He is tan even though it is the month of December!

5. All of the above and a sitting fee doesn't guarantee that you are going to get something that is usable, or displayable, or that you even kind of like, even a little bit.
And sometimes, because your sister-in-law was willing to take 200 shots, you get just one that you LOVE. If you have ever stood behind me in line at the post office, ate beside me in a sit-down restaurant, or sat in back of me in church-then you must know that the civility that this picture captures, is a miracle! Thank you Sara for the best Christmas present ever.

Thanksiving Chicken?

2009-11-30T11:01:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with tons of family and tons of food. My Aunt Gaby, who is gracious host, braved having our entire family together for the big dinner. I love to go to my Aunt and Uncle's house for the company, spacious home and beautiful yard. Sterling, however, loves the Chandler's house because they have their own chickens (among cows and turkeys and. . .). John and Gaby's five-year-old son, Jacob, has so kindly taken Sterling under his wing (no pun intended) to tutor my city slicker about fine country living (at it's best-right Gaby?). This curriculum includes how to properly catch a chicken, and regardless that Sterling is my son-he makes a pretty good study!

If you have the patience to watch a sideways video-this is pretty funny.

Shame on Oprah

2009-11-18T08:53:00.000-08:00

I probably should have included in my 10 honest things that I am a die-hard Oprah fan. However, yesterday's show on pornography really struck a chord with me. She featured Jenna Jamison as the most famous porn star in the world, and portrayed pornography as a tool for women's sexual liberation. It was reported that 1 in 3 pornography viewers are now women.

I am not upset that Oprah chose to do a show on pornography or even that she invited Jenna Jamison to be a guest. Rather, I am disappointed that she failed to ask the hard hitting questions about the exploitation of women, and the role of porn in the disintegration of marriage and family.

For the first time in my long-standing, Oprah-viewing career I published the following comment on her website:

"Just because something sounds good, tastes good, or feels good-does not mean that it is good for us. I would argue that porn ADDICTION has done more to tear apart the nuclear family then strengthen marriage. Would you support your own daughter in her aspirations to become a star in this industry? Essentially you are when you chose to engage in viewing any pornographic media. Let us remember that these are some one's daughters-and if their own parents didn't care enough about them, it doesn't eliminate our responsibility to not endorse their poor moral decisions.

I too, like Jenna, knew that I would aspire to greatness someday. However, for me this greatness is validated by the establishment of a happy home. Unfortunately, this was not rewarded with fame, a lavish lifestyle and early retirement! I hope that Jenna realizes that her most important accomplishments are yet to come as she raises those precious little boys, and I sincerely wish her true happiness in this great endeavor."

Bye Bye Birdie

2009-10-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

As we were walking into a popular retail store today, my almost 3-year-old saw a bird. We have been so diligently working on Jackson's speech, so he immediately pointed out the bird and verbalized his excitement. To my misfortune, this resulted in him proudly yelling, "Bye bye boobie!", over and over again. I shopped ever so quickly and actually left purchase-less. Jackson continues to be a strong form of birth control, and now is officially my shopping control as well. Needless to say, we were the catalyst behind many anonymous chuckles today. Why do I feel like that is the story behind the majority of my semi-exciting life?

I hope they call me on a mission

2009-10-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

Kaden and Sterling wearing suits that had been tucked away for a special occasion. This year's primary program proved worthy to finally take the tags off and wear them. Kaden noted, "People aren't going to believe it, we look like missionaries"!

Someday, honey, someday. . .when you have grown a foot or two!

Kaden elicited a laugh when he took the time to pause and smile after stating, "I lived with Heavenly Father before I came to earth. I was happy."

Sterling sang (and yelled) so loud his face turned red. His self authored part read, "When I am sorry I can pray for Kaden."

10 honest things

2009-09-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

I was recently tagged by my sister-in-law Katie (http://katie-newsletter.blogspot.com/%20)to), and challenged to disclose 10 honest things about myself. She is one of the most talented blog writers I know and I enjoyed reading her entire post. However, I am an open book that obviously loves to talk-so I imagine that many of these entries will not be news to most of you. But in honor of my darling sister-in-law, here it goes. . .

10. I am a scrabble fanatic. I am obsessed with 2 letter word combinations with potential high point values. Did you know that QIand ZA are both in the scrabble dictionary? That doesn't mean that you can ask me what they mean. But I can tell you that if the "Q" or "Z" are double played on a triple letter score you are looking at a minimum of a 50 point play! Nerdy, I know.

9. I am a TV junkie. I watch way more television then I should or would ever admit to. I blame this on two things 1. The efficiency of program viewing with a DVR and 2. My mother because I was never allowed to watch TV growing up. My preschool teacher was shocked when I didn't know the Sesame Street characters. My best friend, Sherrie, blames my insomnia on my bad habit watching TV before I go to bed. To my defense, she is also the one that cries along side with me during Grey's and recently got me hooked on Intervention. Now, my husband now says that I need an intervention from Intervention-is that even possible?

8. I have a knack for numbers. Not an extremely useful knack-like the ability to do complex multiplication or problem solving. Just the simple talent of remembering phone numbers, key codes and credit card numbers. My childhood phone number: 392-5951. My credit card number: 5491. . .you are not that lucky. But I do know it as well as the card that preceded it, along with their security codes and expiration dates. However, ask me the birth date of my third son in four years and I am stumped. See told you-useless!!

7. I have an irrational fear of the ocean and bridges.

6. The five foods that I would choose to bring to a deserted island: 1. Bread and butter 2. Cottage cheese with peaches 3. The Incredible roll from Mikuni's 4. Hot cracked wheat cereal 5. Chocolate, banana spinach protein shake. Okay, I know that is like 20 foods but really this accounts for 90% of my diet.

5. I love Nordstrom. I love that I can return anything for any reason. I love that someone waits on you in the dressing room. I love that there is a seamstress readily available. I love that the salesperson walks around the front of the register to hand you your purchase. Everything smells good and looks beautiful. And I love that I sometimes get a hand written thank you card from the sales associate thanking me for shopping there.

4. and for many of the aforementioned reasons: I hate Wal-Mart. (Don't even get me started about shopping there during the holidays)

3. I have seen Justin Timberlake in concert 3 times. Luckily, I have a best friend that also shares my taste in immature music. I can always count on her to get tickets with me even if it means she has to come to Las Vegas and I will be 6 months pregnant by the time of the concert. Again to my defense, I have seen the more age appropriate DMB and ColdPlay multiple times as well.

2. I think that Kate Gosselin gets a bad rap. I can't even begin to imagine what a reality show entitled "Matt and Amy plus 8" would contain. I refuse to judge her as a mother but have a hard time extending that same courtesy to her hairdresser. . .seriously though!

1. I married out of my league. I made a good decision when I chose to marry Matthew Kartchner - a lot of which was based on logic and inspiration. But there is no way that at the time, I knew how great that decision really was. He is considerate and loving, patient and truly devoted. I really believe that we were sent three boys because Heavenly Father knew what a fabulous role model they would have in a father. Plus, I get flowers pretty frequently! I really believe that I married "up" and am still thankful that he will have me :)

People I tag:

Jamie G.

Sherrie C.

Stefani D.

Ashlie N.

Sara C.

Christie T.

Edie P.

Really anyone who is up for the challenge!! Just let me know if you post!

Happy Birthday Kaden

2009-09-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

The rights of passage of a six year old boy :

1. The apparent inability to smile normally in a picture

2. Recounting conversations by using verbage such as, "I was like. . . then they were like. . .then I was like what?"

3. The need to have Bakugans even though I have never seen the TV show because Jimmy has eleven of them already.

4. Request for name brand only shoes.

5. Excitement when playing all positions on the soccer team: "offense, defense, goalie and bench!"

6. The ability to still be his mother's baby by cuddling up by her with a book. Only now he does the reading and it is in the form of chapters!

Sterling's first belt promotion

2009-09-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

Unless you have been to one, you certainly cannot appreciate how fun it is to attend a four- year-old's belt promotion. You would be thoroughly entertained by the attempted push-ups to the punching and kicking sequences accompanied by pipsqueaked HI-YA's. Suddenly the hundreds of dollars and endless hours poured into my child's supposedly blossoming talent seemed a little worthwhile. Well, that, coupled with an ear to ear grin from my darling son.

I love to see the temple

2009-09-27T18:33:00.000-07:00

I especially love to see the temple when it is in the background of my young women! We had the opportunity to attend the temple twice this month. Once was to visit the grounds and hear an awesome devotional from an amazing sister in our ward. The other was to perform baptisms for the dead. We had 35 total young men and young women out for the baptisms! I am blessed to work with an amazing group of youth and was extremely proud of them this month:)

Battle Won!

2009-08-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

You know you may have a guitar hero addiction when you hear a song on the radio and immediately begin to think "red, green, red, blue, yellow. . ."! You may also be an addict if your 5 year old son promises that he is going to teach you how to play "hard" on guitar hero when he grows up, but you can't possibly wait that long. And if you challenged the babysitter to battle before you went out on your last date-you too, are addicted.
Hello, my name is Amy, and I am a guitar hero addict-and I just beat Slash!! I also shorted out the orange button on my guitar and am unwillingly being forced into recovery.

Don't eat the Fruit Loops!

2009-08-19T11:41:00.001-07:00

Now that Kaden and Sterling are in school, I get to spend some alone time with the craziest kid of them all-Jack Jack! He manages to get into more trouble alone then he ever does with his older siblings. Here is just one example of just one incident that happened today.

Fortunately, I believe blogging has made me a better parent. When I walked in on this, my desire to take a picture and document it, miraculously overcame my desire to send him to time out. . .for the day.

And by the way, you may not want to eat the Fruit Loops when visiting the Kartchners because you better believe that I scooped up what I could (top layer only) and put them back in the box!

Back to School

2009-08-17T13:06:00.001-07:00

I thought that I loved summertime until I dropped off 2 of my 3 children at school this morning! That is when I realized I was just as excited as they were to report to the 1st grade (Kaden) and second year of preschool (Sterling).
Kaden couldn't wait to wear his new shoes (no one tell him that they aren't skechers) and carry his super cool Star Wars lunchbox. The preschool and elementary school are located on the same campus and Sterling is just happy to tag along anywhere Kaden is headed.

Supersonic Hearing

2009-08-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

This morning, Sterling received his 3rd (yes, 3rd as in three) set of ear tubes to correct negative air pressure that he has in his ears. We discovered this problem after he perforated his ear drum twice (yes, twice as in 2 times) in the last 2 months-ouch! We soon realized that he couldn't pass a hearing test. Between our 3 boys this is our sixth(yes, six) set of tubes and second adenoidectomy. The surgeon said that everything went well and to expect better hearing immediately. She told us that with the amount of fluid and infection in his ears that he wasn't hearing his school teacher (and may I add his mother too). Sterling was a trooper because he was so excited to hear "really, really good". He also asked if the doctor was going to take the monkey out of his ear. Mission accomplished! I was able to talk to him without facing him as soon as the car ride home.

Enduring Triathlon

2009-08-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law Steve, came in to town about a week ago. Among his to-do list was the Tri-for-fun triathlon, at Rancho Seco. The "for-fun" part of that title is for people like my brother-in-law. He has been running since he was a fetus. "Tri-andkeep-yourlife", would be a better title for a race that a 32-year-old mother who hasn't trained in 3 months and enters 48 hours before race time. Athletes like Steve "do" triathlons (and place), casual exercisers like me "endure" the sport of triathlon (and win a raffle for a gigantic box of Clif shots if they are really lucky). All joking aside, although Steve surely coerced me into this race, he also unselfishly supported me through it. After finishing his race, he doubled back and ran 3 miles in with me!

Testimony

2009-07-26T19:30:00.000-07:00

"We can have positive certainty of the reality of a personal God; the
continued active life of the Christ. . .; the divinity of the restoration
through Joseph Smith. . .These can be known to every responsible person as surely as the knowledge that
the sun shines. To fail to attain this knowledge is to admit that one has not paid
the price."
President Spencer W. Kimball

Today's Young Women's lesson was entitled "Testimony". We focused on Alma the younger and how he gained his testimony (Mosiah 27), shared his testimony (Alma 5), and challenged us to "grow" our own knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel (Alma 32). My children were angels in Lowe's yesterday as I took my time deciding exactly how I was going to incorporate something out of the garden department into my handout. So when I started throwing up late Saturday night -all I could think about was getting better in time to teach my lesson Sunday morning (and how badly my toilet needed to be cleaned). I am thankful that I made it, was able to visit with my amazing young women, plus; I didn't drag the boys the Lowe's by myself for nothing!

And it was all yellow. . .

2009-07-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

The Coldplay concert almost upgraded my life's status from semi-exciting to really exciting this week!! Don't get me wrong-changing diapers, running from karate to soccer practice and scraping tartar off of people's teeth is all very fascinating I know, however; Chris Martin playing the piano in the section you just happen to be sitting in-may just be a upgrade from the trenches of this suburbian soccer mom's life. Oh yes, you read that right-half way through the show they closed off our section of mediocre seating just to let Chris and his band members through. Thay played a short set just 25 feet away(piano-in-tow). I mean if Chris would have sneezed-we may have felt the overspray. Thank goodness they eventually returned to the stage or I may have had to start a new blog like amyssuperexcitingstar-filledjetsettinglife. Heaven knows that would have been way to overwhelming for this girl. So it is with happiness that I return to my semi-exciting life. . .

The 4th of July

2009-07-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

This is officially my first unassisted blog post. Those of you that know me well, can attest that I am a creature of habit. I eat the same chocolate, peanut butter, banana and spinach shake for breakfast every morning for a reason-I don't like change. So starting this blog is equivalent to asking me to eat a waffle for breakfast tomorrow morning. I mean who doesn't like waffles? I like waffles. But now I am going to have to locate my waffle iron, find a recipe and take at least a half of an hour out of my finely tuned daily regimen. (I have the shake down to 3 minutes flat!) So here it goes. We spent the 4th with my my brother Steve and his family at their new home in Visalia California. Smores were only one of many activities that we were able to participate in on the 5 acres that they live on-most of which were foreign to my city slicked children and their mother. Swimming, riding the quad and playing baseball (they actually have a backstop in their backyard), were among the kids' favorites. I personally enjoyed the grand finale of the week which included old school sparklers and a few semi-legal fireworks courtesy of Battle Mountain, Nevada. I guess this post wasn't as painstaking as I anticipated. All of a sudden waffles sound quite delicious! Here's to trying new things. Bon appetit!

Can I have a sip of your soda for sustenance?

2009-07-02T10:38:00.000-07:00

Amy,

When are you going to accept the invitation to blog, my sista-in-law?

Are you terrified of blogging?

Literal Version Music Videos

2009-06-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

If you haven't found these literal music videos yet, you are missing out on one of the fantasticly hilarious parts of life.

My favorite line has to be about pulling her feathered-hair whenever she sees a random floating curtain!

My First Blog Post

2009-06-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

Actually, this isn't quite my first blog post, because I'm not writing it. My sister-in-law, Katie, is practically the coolest person I know. I say practically, because I know a lot of cool people. But she's up there, none-the-less!

Eventually I'll start writing and posting pictures myself, but for right now, this blog is in test mode.